What keeps you stuck in life and what prevents you from moving forward at quantum speeds is twofold. It is fear and taking things personally. Why do you take everything personally? You take things personally because of your ego and your beliefs. People more often than not believe that whatever somebody says about them is true. This comes from childhood and how someone was raised. Most people told you who they were instead of being allowed the opportunity to decide who they were and having the freedom to be exactly who they wanted to be

When you believe what somebody else says about you, you immediately get offended. When you get offended you feel the need to defend your own opinion, your belief system or your ideals of who you are. Your own opinion comes from your childhood distortions. These distortions were given to you and inflicted upon you by years of repetitive behavior and grooming to fit into society. You cannot blame others for breeding these habits and emotions into you or changing your views about yourself or life. This all happened exactly as it was meant to. People raised you to the best of their ability, with their own distortions preventing them from allowing you and your soul to be free. If you can forgive them and yourself for now knowing any better, you are able to remove yourself from the distortion to clean your wounds and begin to fully heal. To move fully into the freedom of your soul rather than staying held hostage in a prison of your own mind.

When you are able to take yourself out of that distortion you do not need to defend opinion. You are able to remove yourself from the trauma and move into a new belief system and way of thinking. That first step truly is staying present in the moment and activating all of your senses. You can initiate this by connecting to your breath, then moving onto all of your energy systems within your body. Feel the energy flow through you. Feel your organs, your blood, feel every nerve ending within your body. What do you see, what do you smell, what do you taste, stay fully present and take in every sensation in this given moment? When you do this, you realize there’s nothing you need to defend. There is nothing wrong and that there is nothing to fear. This does more than center you, it brings you into alignment and gives you the opportunity to pave a new path toward enlightenment.

What stops you from reaching the next level in your awakening and is holding you back from enlightenment? It is actually nothing. Your way is not blocked. It is your mind that is blocking you. What in your mind is creating this blockage? Fear. Fear is the root of every single negative emotion you can experience. It is the root of anger, sadness, depression, envy, jealousy, frustration, anxiety. You fear that you aren’t enough, the fear causes the anger, the sadness that you don’t have what you want in life, or that life isn’t going to get better or be the same as it once was. The fear that you won’t have what someone else does, or that you aren’t great at something, won’t finish in time or that you will get hurt again. There are so many examples of how fear can inhibit you. It is literally the root of every single problem you face. You have become addicted to it in a sense. Fear is your illness. It is the one thing you need to heal from the most. Codependency stems from fear, fear of failure or fear of being alone.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt. FDR was right in so many ways and this is applicable to every aspect of life. Fear is the bloodsucker of life. It is the one thing that society clings to and allows to rob you of your happiness. Every other emotion that does not feel like joy, love, gratitude or peace is all through the distortion embodied at the root of fear. How do you truly let go of fear? It is the hardest aspect of this journey to let go of. You have to see what you are truly afraid of. Every single time you feel anything other than joy, happiness, contentedness, or bliss, dive into your emotions. TO feel is to heal and the more you feel your emotions and acknowledge the root of what you are feeling, the more you can shift your inner narrative. Once you shift your inner narrative, you begin to reprogram your mind to live in a different energy. You feed it love and positivity, rather than darkness and fear. You have the ability to shift anything in your own mind, but it starts with true acknowledgment and healthy boundaries. Boundaries with yourself and with others. It starts with your self-talk and self-love. It starts with you and your desire for something different.

Once you begin to live in a different state of mind, you realize how many other people do not exist there with you and that is ok. You will be tested on your new beliefs in so many different ways. The Universe will attempt to sway you to see how steadfast you are. The rest of the world is not on your same path, and people can only meet you as deep as you meet yourself. This does not mean to do less work on yourself or to cave into the temptation around you. It means dive deeper to light the way for others to follow. You are a way shower. People will struggle with it at first and you will realize that your path is not easy. You must be honest with yourself and realistic about how to reach people. Most people are in actuality dishonest. Not because they are bad people, it is simply they are dishonest with themselves. People lie to themselves daily and even hourly. It is difficult to realize that this behavior is something all humans exhibit one way or another at different stages in life. It stems from society showing you your lack of worth. This makes people seek external validation.

When you are seeking external validation, you are lying to yourself. You know what you feel within and need someone to validate your thoughts, emotions or ego. It is a way to give yourself an ego boost or make you feel more confident. It is the child needing the validation of the elder, so they realize they’re not being punished and can move forward as they’re told to, as they’re instructed to. It is in a way staying in the role of the sheep rather than stepping into the strength and leadership of the lion.

If you stay in the role of the sheep, you stay in lack-mentality. When you are in lack and you seek external validation, there is something else that goes hand in hand with that. It is making assumptions. These lock together to keep you down. It is your inner reality that is connected to your childhood distortions of lack of worth and the punishment mentality that forms your adult beliefs. You seek validation to prove that your internal assumption is accurate. This is your own inner reality. This inner reality if bred and feeding on fear is one that can keep you trapped in suffering and pain. What is your own inner reality? It is the inner dialogue and the dream land that you allow yourself to live or exist in when reality isn’t what you want it to be. It is the relationship you created with someone who isn’t behaving the way you want them to (good or bad) it is the dream of the life you want to have. It is the movie of your life that plays in your head that can be bliss or torment. This is not the reality you live in, but the one you created in your head to feel safe or stay in the pain you’re addicted to.  

When you make assumptions based on your inner reality, you’re setting yourself up to endure constant suffering. You take it personally when someone doesn’t do or say what you want them to. People cannot live up to the standards of what you saw in your own personal reality. When people do not act in the way you want or expect them to, you feel as though they are “misbehaving.” Somewhere in your inner reality you believe they should have known better. If you are not communicating with them your own thoughts, needs, desires and feelings, then how would they know? They are most likely not a mind reader and need to understand how to be there for you. But, more importantly you need to be there for yourself. When you are not there for yourself and do not communicate, you stay stuck in your old belief system and stay imprisoned in your inner reality or dream land. This causes you to continue to make assumptions. When you assume in the real world, it generally stems from a distorted belief system as stated above. When you are in acting that distorted belief system, you are allowing for true suffering to take place. This is you projecting your assumption, your turmoil, your trauma, your distortion onto someone else. Oscar Wilde said, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.”  Assumptions are not the truth; they are not reality, they are your own inner beliefs and conclusions based on your trauma, distortions and wounded opinions. To shift this, give people the benefit of the doubt. Communicate with them and allow them to show you their reality as it might differ from the one in your head. Let them show you the reality of who they are, of their motives, their actions, their feelings, their words and their needs. Let yourself remove the distortion of your beliefs and opinions through the eyes of your trauma and open yourself up to what they may be saying or showing you. It might be completely different than you expected.

The worst assumption you can make is about your interpersonal relationships or your romantic partner. Communication in all relationships is the most integral aspect of a healthy relationship. Speaking your truth, honoring yourself, honoring the other person, will aid in speaking reality into existence. To fully speak reality into existence you need to understand the needs of yourself and the needs of those around you. Asking questions and communicating your thoughts will always get you into alignment. Making a biased assumption keeps you in the distortion or outdated belief system. That distortion is staying in your inner mind/reality or seeking external validation.

You don’t need external validation. You already have the answers within you. If you can turn within, trust your intuition and your connection to spirit to release yourself from the shackles of the mistrust of others. You break free from the lack mentality and the need to be addicted to the punishment/praise mentality. You move out of the oppressor/oppressed relationship and become the authentically freed individual. If you are seeking external validation, you care more about what other people have to say about you than you do about what you have to say about yourself. Do not take things personally by getting offended by what someone says when you have asked for their opinion. This is all about self-worth and honoring who you are and who you know yourself to be. You have the ability to break the cycle and to move into your own authentic life full of bliss and self-assuredness. You have the tools; it is all about feeling your emotions and reprogramming your mind. It is not easy, it is actually quite difficult to decode what has been active for your entire life, but it is worth it to you and all of those you encounter and will follow in your footsteps.

You light the way for others by expressing your own divinity. You do this by appreciating where you are in life and showing love not only to yourself, but to everyone you encounter. This begins to transform your belief system and helps to shift the narrative. This loving, divine energy helps to bring back your childlike essence. It gives you back your freedom, The freedom of your soul to be exactly who you want to be. TO return to the innocence and joy your soul experiences by being who you truly are. The first step to take in getting to this place is awareness, to lean into your triggers, emotions and fears to combat them. To do this you must be the warrior and the goddess. You must fight to break the cycles and patterns and nurture yourself with love to reprogram your mind. You are capable of doing this in every aspect of the way. Set daily goals and don’t be so hard on yourself. If you don’t succeed the way you want to, then try again tomorrow. You are divine and you have the ability to change so many lives including your own. There is nothing stopping you. The only block as I said above is your mind. So, dive into your beautiful mind and remember who you are. The rest will all fall into place the more you simply love yourself.

-Lady Phoenix